It's totally over..
It has been almost a month since I last blog here. This one month has been pretty exciting. I started Bible Study with Aunty Cheng Suan and Sharon with some other people. I started keyboard lesson with Delia. I really had done so much this month. In fact, I'm all so ready to give up and let go and simply moved on.Mun went to NS and he was out today. During the past two weeks especially, I do miss him and think about him. I sms him yet I know though he replied, it's not from him. I was kind of worried, sad, not at my right mood. I told God and I tell myself that I'm not going to let the feeling grow inside me. I asked God to take it away if he's not mine. True enough, today God did it.
I was out with Senthil and then later he said he is meeting Mun and Guo Quan. I realized that the one who replied my sms was not him but his friend. I'm really disappointed with him. I think God showed me that he is not the one for me. I began to realize that he is not the Mun whom I knew, whom I once deeply in love with. I know it's really for sure that I'm letting go 100%.
The sarcasm that he made, the way he talked, he behaved. I'm utterly disappointed. I know that God has answered my prayers. He took it away. Just before my baptism.
I bare not hatred, not bad feelings. I'm more than willing to let go than ever. I guess, I won't want a friend like him. Not serious at all. So why should I still hold on to something that I shouldn't be hanging on to? Now I think back, memorizes will still be memorizes. Some things cannot be replaced, some things cannot be erased. But some things that meant to be broken have to be. I'll really leave it to God and I'll never bring it back again.
That's the end of my story with Mun and I. From now onwards, his name will not be mentioned by me ever again.
posted by Michelle @ 3/25/2005 12:44:00 AM
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